Toilets, there are many choices...

I hate my toilet. its too low to the ground, too close to the shower, has scratches all over it and the flush is weak.  Yeah you know what im talking about. it sucks wasting my time trying to flush a taco bell by-product down the pipes when you could be hmmm... drinking a beer eating more taco bell.

i gotta get one of these babys... send those turds into orbit

halloweens coming. hey thats what im here for suggestions.

nice, i wish the fish could swim in the walls of the bowl too though. it would be funny when they all scram when you drop one...

i would put this one in the local pub or chuckie cheese. either way its creepy. rumor has it, this was in michael jacksons house...

and in reality...

rich people have way too much money

Count terdula

Jam one out!

theres actually a chain of these in taiwain. no joke

ready for the kick off?

SLEEP.....VOL.1

I have a hard time sleeping at night most nights. I use my galactic android telephone/music player Samsung droid charge device to sooth the mind into suspended sensory activity. some nights the mind prefers instrumentals, other nights stubbornly rejects music all together calling for George Carlin, Bill hicks or Mitch Hedberg on low volume. If all else fails, an episode on Netflix of south park, futurama or an equally satisfying show will have to do. You never know.

Here is a list in no particular order of the most important tools (bands,comedians,cheap sound fx) ive used over the past year to pass out to....

Warhorse - As heaven turns to ash

For a long time This album was medicine to me. I would take it every night, let it run through my veins and occasionally awake to its heavier moments. I truly thank these guys for helping me sleep many of times!

Lengsel-Solace

To riff a man to sleep is defenitly an art. I have found this album to be an adventure in man sleep art.

Yawning man - Rock Formations

Desert rock. 

Sarcophagy - Cut to pieces demo 1995

In honor of how fuckin stoked I am for the new Sarcophagy album coming out heres a shot off the old cut to pieces demo 1995 as well as a shot off the NEW album ''The summoning''.

HERE

On another note: Ive had some good beers lately heres a few that you MUST try....

 Russian rivers supplication is an awesome sour. I had it in bottle at a local pub and god damn its sour. very very good. Has a wine like character to it. Its a sipper, but if you like sours you will definitely enjoy its complex structure. 

 Russian rivers Damnation is an awesome take on a blonde ale/Belgian style. I was impressed with the clean finish and peppery spice present. it wasn't overpowering just very drinkable and refreshing. highly recommended 

Here we go. This years 2012 Stone barley wine is awesome as always. hoppy, malty yet drinkable. I recently got my hands on a 2010 stone barley wine and drank it while i was camping. I was amazed at how well it aged. sure the hop character had mellowed waaaay down. But so did the alcohol. it was 11% yet it drank like a 6% IPA. VERY smooth. This beer ages well. although I would recommend aging it a little less than 2 years just because i love the hops! 

Desecravity - Implicit Obediance

 Got a sky high boner for this one. Japans Desecravity will turn your brain into sushi! Best fuckin album so far this year. download it and then head over to Willowtip records and pick up the CD t shirt combo.

Here, while it lasts...

Home brew history: George Washington

If you think the above picture is accurate then you are wrong. George Washington refused to drink fizzy yellow watered down piss beer and insisted on homebrew.

Taken from beer history.com

George Washington was a devout beer lover. In particular, he was fond of the dark, English-style brew known as porter, and always demanded that an ample supply of it be kept on hand at Mount Vernon, his Virginia estate. However, it was not porter, but rather "small beer," for which Washington once recorded an early recipe. Preserved in the manuscript collections of the New York Public Library is a notebook kept by Washington, which includes the following hand-written recipe.

"To Make Small Beer...

Take a large Siffer [Sifter] full of Bran Hops to your Taste. -- Boil these 3 hours then strain out 30 Gall[ons] into a cooler put in 3 Gall[ons] Molasses while the Beer is Scalding hot or rather draw the Melasses into the cooler & St[r]ain the Beer on it while boiling Hot. let this stand till it is little more than Blood warm then put in a quart of Yea[s]t if the Weather is very Cold cover it over with a Blank[et] & let it Work in the Cooler 24 hours then put it into the Cask -- leave the bung open till it is almost don[e] Working -- Bottle it that day Week it was Brewed."

See guys. Mr Washington refused to drink mass produced piss water like the pilgrims and the Indians. Lets all take a lesson from history and drink fresh, quality home brew. On another note this recipe was recently recreated by Coney Island Brewing Co. check it out here. im really curious how this one turned out.

CHEERS!

Mitch Hedberg - Strategic grill locations

Craving more Mitch Hedberg? yeah i know you guys are. this is the first album...

here you go

heres some early standup by mitch ...awesome stuff

2011 Holiday ales and Purulence/Amaymon split EP

Some pretty good holiday ales this year lets begin:

(The heavenly pumpkin of citracado)

Stones latest collaboration ale with the ridiculous french name is a winner. complex. and easy drinking. when i first read the label i was blown away with the fact that they used yams. wtf? yams? I was sold. cost about $3 a 12oz bottle here in southern California and is only sold in singles. this has got to be the best holiday ale ive tried so far this year, very unique. it also contains a number of spices ive never heard of. toasted fenugreek, lemon verbena and birch bark. this is what i love about stone, they take the crazy experimental mindset of a homebrewer and blow it up on a commercial scale. 5/5 

Sierra nevada 2011 celebration ale

What i like about holiday ales is theyre only around for a limited time so you know they were made recently and havent been sitting around in the back of a store for awhile. they taste fresh.

This years celebration ale is very tasty, hoppy and fresh. A holiday IPA using sierra nevadas own whole cone hops grown locally on their estate. Nice firm bitterness and fresh hop aroma, slight carmel notes and a nice rich copper color. also has that slight sierra nevada signiture hop spiciness in the backround. i love it 4/5. 

Samuel smith winter welcome ale

This years winter welcome ale is just as good as last years . nice balance of caramels and spices. ''should be contemplated by an open fire'' as their label suggests, or give it to kids before they go sledding as the labels picture suggests. 3.5/5 

Avery brewing co: Old Jubilation ale

First time having this. not bad. defenitly has a holiday flavor to it if that makes sense. their site  says they dont spice it but they use bullion hops which im not familiar with. im not sure if id drink a six pack of it because its pretty rich but then again if i was to go hiking in the snow on some day in december, sure i would. so im gonna say this ones best drank while on a snowy forest hike midwinter. 3/5 pretty good

Deschutes : Jubelale, a festive winter ale

I really like Deschutes. they have some real tasty beers inversion ipa, mirror pond pale ale. and i cant wait to try this years abyss. however i wasn't too happy with jubilale. it has a rich holiday flavor that doesn't sit well on my palate, almost like one of the specialty grains has been over used. it has a slightly over powering holiday spice taste to it. now im not saying to avoid this beer. not at all. there's a time and a place for every beer of course. this beer is best before and during a nasty holiday family fight. you know the ones that explode and people end up leaving and not talking anymore and you have that bitter nasty hatred  inside towards one another. i would be slamming these things. 2.5/5 

well those are the holiday ales ive tried so far and i hope to try more soon. now on the homebrew side of things, just last saturday i brewed up 5 gal of stones bitter chocolate oatmeal stout clone. and tasty mcdoles amber ale recipe. those should be handy for the holidays and good all around drinking. all post when done.

Purulence/Amaymon split

here

What better way to finish off a beer review than to post some fuckn death metal? Purulence is a hidden gem for me . the guitar player steve went on to join gorguts after purulence dissolved. his schizophrenic riff structures are amazing in these songs and i can really see how he added to the gorguts and negativa sound. i would crank this shit after pounding some holiday beers and getting in that nasty once a year holiday family fight!

cheers!!